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I skipped a few runs and man, did I feel terrible! I couldn't motivate myself to do the runs but, I felt so bad about not running. It kept getting worse and worse. What's funny is that every time I skipped I dreamed about running that night! Today I just went out and ran. It was good. I felt fine but, a little sluggish for the first mile and ready to be done by the last mile. I did 4.33 miles (12 min pace). I had a good runner's high for the middle two miles. I thought about the weird dreams I've been having (not the running dreams). In my dreams, I'm always leaving somewhere and packing and I'm late for wherever I'm going. I can't fit everything into the suitcases I have and I keep finding things I forgot to pack. I'm shoving things into bags and trying to decide what to take and what to leave (if anything). It's a never-ending process of packing. I can't quite figure out what the significance of the dream is but, it's obviously important because I have the dream about once a week. I want to just go wherever it is I'm late for and not bring anything with me if I can. A lot of times I have an awareness of dreaming in my dreams so, I'm hoping that if I can become aware in this dream that I can leave the suitcases and go to end the saga...
Anyway, Today was the first time I ran on the chipped path trails in Piney Orchard. It's very uneven footing with lots of twists and turns and hills. (That was the first mile). I just looked, listened, and breathed. I heard a woodpecker which was a real highlight of the run for me. I saw blue jays, robins, & cardinals. I saw squirrels and heard something larger moving around in the woods. I couldn't see what it was - maybe a fox or something of that size. I'm glad I got back out there. I was worried that I was falling out!

Treadmills

I did not enjoy running on a treadmill. I had to ride a stationary bike while I waited for one to open up. It was hot and there were about 25 people in a pretty small space. There were people waiting behind me too so, I could only be on it for 20 min. By the time I started to get used to it, it was time to get off. It felt like a completely different energy than running on the road. I'm sure I'll get used to it after doing it a few more times. But, it's certainly not my first choice.

My First 8 Mile Run

Sunday was my first 8 miles. It was also the most miles I've ever run in a week (19 miles total). It was also the first time I didn't want to run for most of the time that I was running. I was more tired than any other time I've ever run. I tried an energy gel on the run. ick. but, I did get a burst of energy. I had a good 5 to 10 minutes of runners high at about the halfway point. Otherwise, I just wanted to stop running and take a nap on the side of the road. I kept telling myself that this was good practice for "hitting the wall" in a marathon. I just listened to my breath, tried to relax and remembered impermanence. I would not walk unless I felt that injury was the alternative. Eventually, I was done. I got to ask for leg rubs from hubby bear and he's very good at that so, it was all worth it. :) My average pace was 12:07. I think that was just fine considering I wanted it to be zero:zero:zzzzz :)

Trust & Urine

I ran 7 miles in the cold rain last night. It was dark and my glasses were wet so I could really only see vague shapes... and around the third mile I had to pee like crazy.

From the start of the run there was a voice in my head telling me to turn around and go home. My hands were frozen, I was soaking wet, and the rain was getting harder. As I rehearsed various ways to cut the run short a louder voice said, "why?! NO WAY."

With that settled I simply put my attention on my feet because it was the surest way I had to make my way through the night. Each time a foot connected with the earth and I didn't fall to my death I realized that I was safe. I could trust my feet; I could trust myself. I could trust the single stride I was experiencing; I could trust the moment that I was in. I could not predict how the next step would feel under my feet and if I tried I would be diverting the attention I needed to respond to what was under my feet in that moment. I realized that I was probably running faster than I had run the last 7 mile run because I heard my breath. Instantly I connected my breath to my feet and then to the earth... I was breathing this hill and then there was no way of not "making it up the hill" because there was no difference between the hill and me.

Now, around mile three I began to lose this connection and attention because my bladder was demanding more and more of my attention. I realized it would be wise to comply. I have never stopped running to pee before but, I was on a trail in the pitch black and there was no way anyone else was out running on it. So, I stopped my watch and dropped my drawers and peed in the woods. :) I can't say that it is my most exciting milestone in running but, in a way I do feel like more of a runner now that I have stopped to pee in the middle of a run. That's just silly. But, it's true!

After that I was able to return to the focus of each step and I finished my seven miles three minutes faster than last time! 1:19:38 (pace 11:22)

When I finished I cried a little. This is kind of normal for me though - I'm a crier. When I walked in the door my husband said, "Wow - that was fast!" before I even told him the time. I love it when he says just the right thing.

Keep Running!
Jocelyn

Anniversary & PR

I finally broke the 10 min mile mark. I ran 2 miles at a 9:55 pace. I'm stoked that I broke that barrier. And what a great day to do it...Today is my two month anniversary with running. :)
My first run – which was 1/3 mile run and 1/3 mile walk was exactly two months ago today. :)
My first timed run was 2.82 miles on the 14th and the pace was 14 min 10 seconds. What a difference in two months. I can’t wait to see where I am a year from now!
Thanks for being with me on this journey.