Trust & Urine

I ran 7 miles in the cold rain last night. It was dark and my glasses were wet so I could really only see vague shapes... and around the third mile I had to pee like crazy.

From the start of the run there was a voice in my head telling me to turn around and go home. My hands were frozen, I was soaking wet, and the rain was getting harder. As I rehearsed various ways to cut the run short a louder voice said, "why?! NO WAY."

With that settled I simply put my attention on my feet because it was the surest way I had to make my way through the night. Each time a foot connected with the earth and I didn't fall to my death I realized that I was safe. I could trust my feet; I could trust myself. I could trust the single stride I was experiencing; I could trust the moment that I was in. I could not predict how the next step would feel under my feet and if I tried I would be diverting the attention I needed to respond to what was under my feet in that moment. I realized that I was probably running faster than I had run the last 7 mile run because I heard my breath. Instantly I connected my breath to my feet and then to the earth... I was breathing this hill and then there was no way of not "making it up the hill" because there was no difference between the hill and me.

Now, around mile three I began to lose this connection and attention because my bladder was demanding more and more of my attention. I realized it would be wise to comply. I have never stopped running to pee before but, I was on a trail in the pitch black and there was no way anyone else was out running on it. So, I stopped my watch and dropped my drawers and peed in the woods. :) I can't say that it is my most exciting milestone in running but, in a way I do feel like more of a runner now that I have stopped to pee in the middle of a run. That's just silly. But, it's true!

After that I was able to return to the focus of each step and I finished my seven miles three minutes faster than last time! 1:19:38 (pace 11:22)

When I finished I cried a little. This is kind of normal for me though - I'm a crier. When I walked in the door my husband said, "Wow - that was fast!" before I even told him the time. I love it when he says just the right thing.

Keep Running!
Jocelyn